“Have you noticed anything different at home?”

1) Tell them as soon as you are ready as they will start to pick up things

2) Think of it as a jigsaw puzzle and you are going to put down just three pieces and add to it later

3) Rehearse what you might say to friends or to the mirror. Write it down three bullet points of what you want to say

4) Be honest. Use the word ‘cancer’ and not ‘the big C’ or ‘a bug’

5) Tell them on the weekend to they can process it, ask questions and be close as a family

6) Choose a quiet time of day with no distractions, phones off, TV off.

7) Sit close to the kids. Eye level with small kids. Side by side with teens (no eye contact)

8) Tell them what the doctors have said and don’t predict the future

9) Being emotional is good role modelling that expressing emotions is normal and healthy

10) Ask if they can repeat what you have told them, especially little ones

11) It’s OK to not to know answers to all their questions. Write the ones you don’t know down for your healthcare team

12) Always reassure them they did nothing to cause the cancer and they will be updated with any new information